THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

I've been in China for almost 8 weeks! That's almost 2 months! And now...

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.

Right now we're in the middle of finals week, which as anyone who has ever been to college knows means some studying, and a lot of PROCRASTINATION (like this blog post, for example). But it's weird knowing that this is my last week in China. My mind keeps cycling through a lists of "I can't wait for..." and then reverting back to, "but at home there's no...".

Right now my "I can't wait for..." list includes things like AC, normal toilets, ice cream, cheese, steak, bagel with cream cheese, falafel, salad, carrot cake, frosting (a whole other category entirely), blueberries, hamburger, mozzarella and tomato sandwich...I wouldn't say I'm asking for too much, would you?

And sure, that list also includes a few asterisks that are more, "get me away from..." You know, things like homicidal drivers, people hocking loogies in my personal space, and the fact that wherever I go and whatever I do, people will stare at me, mouth open, trying to guess where I'm from.

But at the same time, where at home can I find really good, really cheap, really authentic Chinese food? (staff of 老四川, if you're reading this, I will pay for you to live with me and cook for me at school). Or well-made bubble tea? Or my "friends" at the fitness center? Or the assurance that even if I sound like a 2-year-old, people will tell me, "Wow, you speak such great Chinese"?

What's more, I have to adjust back to speaking English. Which might probably sounds kind of pathetic, but seriously. I've devoted the past 2 months to channeling my thoughts and ideas into Chinese, so trying to 随便 switch to English is not as easy as it sounds. This has become obvious to me as I've continued to write this blog. Speaking of which, notice the word, "right," in first full paragraph? Yeah, I originally wrote "write" (cue self back-pat).

The language pledge has meant that for two months I've gotten to know my classmates in an entirely different language. With the exception of a few Yalies I knew beforehand, I only know the Chinese personalities of most of my peers. Which is kind of weird, when you think about it... But I guess, in many ways, peoples' real personalities have shone through. One classmate (I'm looking at you 老板), has maintained his VERY English, VERY idiomatic catchphrases, simply translated word-for-word into Chinese. And the thing is, these phrases have caught on. So we all shout, "为什么不?"--why not? ; 有牛肉--do you have beef? ; 新鲜到死--fresh to death ; and 老板--boss, things that make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WHATSOEVER in Chinese. But we've made them our own (much to the dismay of our very confused teachers).

In addition to my list of "I can't wait for..." I've even begun to add a few English sentences that I've been dying to say. It's rough when there's actually no sarcasm in Chinese. None. There's not even a word for it! (1.3 billion people and no sarcasm... WOW). As I've found in my classes, the teachers may be baffled by our idiomatic phrases (in a laugh at, not with type of way), but they are just not receptive at all to an American sense of humor. At least spoken humor. They seem to love it whenever I hit my head on something, almost fall off my chair, or gently mock my classmate (书恒, you know I love you)...Hey, at least that gave our 1-on-2 teacher a chance to teach us new vocabulary: 欺负--to bully.

The language pledge ends on Saturday, after 3 written finals and 2 presentations. So in some ways, it still seems like it's the distant future. But between now and then, I've just got to keep telling myself, "我觉得我会。我觉得我会". Translation?

Top Chef Harbin

If you know me well enough that you're reading my blog, you probably know that I LOVE food. I love to cook and eat, explore restaurants and farmer's markets, peruse food blogs and devour cooking magazines...basically anything related to food.

So when it came time for me to pick my 1-on-1 tutorial topic for the CET program, it was an easy decision: CHINESE FOOD CULTURE

In addition to learning a lot about a topic of your choice, the real purpose of the 1-on-1 is to improve reading and writing abilities, so my classes have been in a classroom, reading, discussing, and writing (while trying to prevent myself from drooling all over my essays). This past Friday was my final 1-on-1 class and my teacher decided that I should get a full, authentic experience by making the food myself.

My 老师 and I set off for her house. After a cab ride and a short walk, we reached a large, gray, cement apartment building. We hiked up to the 6th floor and entered the apartment, which she shares with her parents and her son. Although her father was not home, I was able to meet her son and her mom.

My teacher's apartment building.

Courtyard of the apartment building. My teacher's son is in the middle trading cards with friends.

老师's mom was a small, elderly woman who, I quickly realized, would be my sous-chef. My 老师 had told me she was not a good cook, but I figured this was just the characteristic Chinese modesty. It seemed, however, that her mom shared this view, as the menial tasks like washing vegetables were left to her, while her mom and I did the real cooking.

Table where the 3 of us ate.

Disproportionately large TV. For Sunday Night Football?

The menu for the day was a combination of her suggestions and my own, all 炒菜: stir-fried dishes. The dishes were 西红柿炒鸡蛋 (tomatoes and scrambled eggs), 辣椒炒牛肉(stir-fried peppers and beef), 鱼香茄子(spicy eggplant), and 干煸豆角(spicy dried green beans). Once the ingredients were out on the counter, we quickly got down to business. 老师's mom would give me instructions and I would work. At first she was apprehensive, especially when she handed me their chopping cleaver. I've worked in a professional kitchen before, so I'm used to using big, sharp knives. But when this little old lady pulled out a cleaver, I was a little concerned too.

Wok--check. Rice cooker--check. Welcome to China!

The first thing you notice when you WOK in the kitchen.

I began to chop and she breathed a sigh of relief before turning to 老师 and saying, "she chops much better than you do." Not awkward at all...

After chopping, I moved over the giant wok. Beside the wok were a large ladle (ok, no worries) and a pair of LONG chopsticks. WHAT? Chopsticks are apparently a cooking tool, but only if they are about 18 inches long. I've mastered using chopsticks to eat, but that's for small foods with small chopsticks. This was picking up entire eggplants with foot-and-a-half long knitting needles chopsticks. In other words, long enough that I had absolutely no control over what they were doing. I waved the sticks around like antennae, until 老师's mom yanked them away, handing me a pair of tongs. Chopsticks-1, Emily-0.

Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this wok thing...

Looks like my teacher's mom disagrees...

We kept on going at a fast pace until all four dishes were done and laid out on the table. And not going to lie, the dishes looked pretty (cue self back-pat). With the four dishes, a pot of tea, three small bowls of rice, and homemade zhou, the table was all set.

NOMS 1: Eggs and tomatoes. Peppers and beef.

NOMS 2: Spicy dried green beans.

NOMS 3:Okay, so maybe the name translates to fish-smelling eggplant, but I SWEAR it doesn't taste like fish or have fish in it. REALLY.

The three of us sat silently, hunched over our bowls of mifan--white rice. "吃多菜。吃多菜。" The silence was punctuated by 老师's mom demanding encouraging me to eat more. In Chinese culture, when a person has guests over for a meal, they are supposed to encourage their guests to eat more, and more, and more, far past the point of comfort. The guest, once full and done with the food on his/her plate, can politely refuse by saying, 我吃饱了--I'm full. The host will usually insist three or four more times before accepting the polite refusal. Even though I was the cook at this meal, I was still a guest in 老师's house, so it was only appropriate that her mom would make sure that I ate. A LOT.

The meal ended with fresh watermelon. I got up to leave and profusely thanked both 老师 and her mom. 老师's mom's response?

"Eat more. Are you sure you're full?"

I awkwardly smiled and insisted that I was full, before heading out back through the courtyard with the recipes that my teacher had given me.

As I work this weekend on my final paper for my 1-on-1 class, I can't help but thinking, can't I just cook? Anyone can write about Chinese food, but to make it, you've got to understand it.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to finish my research by eating at a few local restaurants. It's a tough life :)

It's the Economy, stupid!

Before coming to China, I had obviously heard of the Cult of Mao. I've seen the giant statutes in his honor (see Dandong post), seen the lines that form in front of his Maosoleum mausoleum, and learned that the places he went and foods he ate are revered by Chinese people.

I had not, however, anticipated the Cult of Deng. If you're not very familiar with Chinese history, in 1978 Deng Xiaoping took over as chairman of the Chinese Communist Party and began his a process of economic development,改革开放, which opened up the Chinese economy to the rest of the world.

Admit it. He's kind of adorable.

China credits Deng and his policies with the past 33 years of insane economic growth. In other words, the people of China LOVE Deng. On a regular basis my teachers use Deng's policies as examples for grammar structures. One teacher was especially proud of introducing the word for "debt" and giving a example that translates to "China is the United States' debt master"

I haven't heard many people talk about Mao or thank Mao, but Deng...that's another story entirely.

Example 1: After returning from Dandong, two of my teachers asked me on two separate occasions what the people of North Korea looked like. Knowing that this was somewhat of a trick question, I replied, "They looked kind of unhappy. And their buildings were all crumbling and old."

Both teachers replied that this is what China was like before Deng. And then both teachers, on separate occasions, looked up (towards heaven? Deng? a fly on the ceiling?) when they mentioned Deng and his economic policies. It was as though Deng was god, watching over China and moving them out of North Korean conditions.

I'm not saying that North Korean economic conditions are desirable, but it's not like I'm looking at the sky to thank John Boehner for raising the debt ceiling.

Example 2: A few weeks ago I had a discussion with my Chinese roommate about issues in China. I asked her what she thought about things like the one-child policy and the firewall, since people in the west sometimes say that they are both human rights violations. My roommate assured me that the people of China are happy because they're materially satisfied.

But what about freedom of expression? She shook her head. "Why? If we have jobs and economic development, that's important."

It totally boggled my mind. In the US, we talk about how people in China are unhappy with the Chinese government and issues of human rights and freedom of expression in China. It's not that my roommate isn't aware of these things, it's that as long as she has new clothes and a cell phone (her examples, NOT mine), she doesn't care.

Forget about Patrick Henry! Here, it's "Screw liberty! Just give me a the new iPhone!" The key is that it's just a totally different mindset, one that regardless of how hard I try, I just can't totally understand.

MUST HAVE NEW IPHONE!

Example 3: In my conversational Chinese class this week, we covered a chapter on transportation. My teacher asked about the challenges that accompany building roads or a new railway. One classmate mentioned that you displace a lot of people, which is kind of, sort of, a BIG PROBLEM.

My teacher tilted her head and smiled in a way that suggested, 'what naive waiguoren'. "But it's the government's investment. So it's not really our business to question or make judgments if they want to fund a new rail system."

Eminent Domain? As if!

If the government wants to build the tallest building in the world or a new highway, as long as it's government money, who cares? I'm not sure really sure if this view only holds up until THAT house becomes MY house...am I still supposed to be pleased with economic development when it means watching my house be plowed over by bulldozers?

当然！

Example 4 (my personal favorite): This past weekend, three classmates and I went to Harbin's Jewish museum. Yes, I said Jewish. In China. Not only in China, in Harbin. WHAT?

So apparently about 20,000 Jews from Russia and Eastern Europe fled to Harbin during and shortly after the Bolshevik Revolution. They had a good thing going for themselves until some left when the Japanese invaded and established Manchuko (which the museum did cite as a reason) or until the vast majority fled with the establishment of the People's Republic of China in 1949 (which the the museum failed to mention as a possible impetus for flight).

Okay, so I don't know why this was in the Harbin museum, but...

The museum is in the "New Synagogue," a three story building in the center of Harbin that was built in 1921. The first floor houses a few random paintings that are supposedly of Harbin. But once you mount the stairs you get to the Jew part of the museum. Once you pass through the story of how and why the Jews came to Harbin you entire an entire floor that is devoted to the "numerous economic miracles" that the Jews brought to Harbin.

Wait, what?

"Harbin Jews brought about numerous economic miracles by bringing into full play their intellectual and business talent...the development of the modern city of Harbin offered the Jews an opportunity for creating new enterprises and providing a solid foundation for their later economic activities in Europe and America"

Nothing much, you know, just making some ECONOMIC MIRACLES!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

OK, let me clarify. I don't find it funny because I doubt any of what the sign says or that the Jews did help Harbin advance economically. I just have yet to see the Chinese show this kind of admiration and reverence for anyone who is not Chinese.

Why so much love?

It's the economy, stupid!

So maybe Clinton wasn't referencing the Jews in Harbin when he said this, but the fact of the matter is that when it comes to priorities in China, Clinton was spot on. Jews made "economic miracles," so they get a shrine museum. Makes sense. At least I won't argue with it.

Honestly, as long as China's economy keeps chugging along, skyscrapers keep magically appearing overnight, and high-speed railways link cities hundreds of miles away, it seems like Chinese people will be happy. I mean, why not?***


***UUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM.........算了...